Why Does My Son Play With Guns?
BY Herschel Smith
10 years, 1 month ago
Questions from Cleveland:
My son brandished a wooden train track in a plastic bridge.
“It’s a shooter!” he said, pointing it at me. “I’m spraying you in the face with water.”
“We don’t shoot at people,” I said, by rote. It was an oft-repeated directive when my little brother was into guns and cowboys.
But my mind was churning. Where did my almost 4-year-old get this stuff? How did he know what a gun was? We don’t own any guns, aside from a water blaster shaped like an alligator. He’s never seen any violent TV show or movie. Is playing with guns just inborn in boys?
“This connection is likely — like most things — a combination of genetics and environment,” said Joshua Weiner, an Arlington, Virginia-based psychiatrist who specializes in children and adolescents. “Boys probably have some yet-unknown gene which contributes to this behavior.”
Just like girls must have some ingrained penchant for shoes and purses. My 20-month-daughter adores purses, whether it’s my purse or a kids gardening tote she stuffs with trains, puzzle pieces and plastic food. She drags them around the house. And she is constantly playing with my shoes, particularly a pair of shiny tortoiseshell ballet flats.
At first I didn’t want to encourage the purse-and-shoe thing. It’s such a stereotype. “But she’s just emulating you,” said my mom. So I gave in. I gave her an old Lululemon bag to stuff. And I bought her a fluffy bunny purse for Christmas.
I don’t intend to ever buy my son a toy gun.
But I’m not especially worried that he pretends to have one, especially if in his dreamworld his gun shoots water. Should I be?
Probably not.
No study has proved that pretend gunplay leads to violent behavior. And most child experts agree that forbidding gunplay only makes it more powerful and enticing.
Besides, gunplay can even help kids make sense of their world, by letting them “kill” bad guys.
God made men and women to be different, and gave the responsibility of provider and primary protector to the man. It’s His design. Since it is His design, he gave men and women the genetics and disposition to effect those ends. Of course these genetics and dispositions can be turned towards evil, but so can just about anything else. That’s irrelevant to the primary goals. It has been this way from the beginning of time. Understand it, don’t fight against it.
I’m glad I could clear that up.
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