Guns, Man-Buns And Shaggy Beards
BY Herschel Smith
5 years, 9 months ago
Shaggy beards are to South Carolina gun shops what man-buns are to Vermont coffee shops. And both places are modern-day town squares, but in different Americas.
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As an aside, enjoying the shock value of his statement, he tells me that it’s legal to buy and sell small tanks in South Carolina, too.
Shades of Fort Sumter, I think. If it’s man-buns versus shaggy beards, does the side with the WWI-era tanks win?
I’m not sure what she’s insinuating from the way that question was posed, but she may be too clever by half.
Listen, Ms. MacBride. The little boys with man-buns don’t want anything to do with those boys with shaggy beards down in South Carolina.
They hunt feral hogs with long knives by jumping on their backs and stabbing them in the gut. They stay out all night ‘Coon hunting, only to go to work the next day after they’ve had to chase their dogs down. They can put a 30-06 round on a dime at 100 yards. They drink corn liquor from a fruit jar, grow their own vegetables, and the man-buns wouldn’t last two seconds with them.
If you know any man-buns thinking of coming down this way, tell them to go buy a frapa-mocha-super-duper-grande and chill for a couple of minutes until they get some sense.
On March 5, 2019 at 1:49 am, Pat Hines said:
Kirt, not his real name, is a young man whose parents live on a property adjacent to mine. He’s now married with two children, was coming over to mow my 4 acre lawn and do other jobs around here since he was about 12, he’s near 25 now.
He coon hunts with his father, brother, and uncles. Yes, at night. They killed over 40 coons last week. He deer hunts on the 160 acres of family property nearby, I have hunting permission from the family for that, I can walk to it, or take my ATV. He’ll be turkey hunting when the season opens, he’s very good at that too. I have photos of some of his kills.
So, yes, a man-bun would not do well here.
On March 5, 2019 at 8:50 am, Cicolluis said:
Damn near spewed my Cup o Morning Joe…That was good..
I have many shaggy, bearded type, Southern boys/men as friends, clients and camping, fishing, hunting, buddies and you are spot on…
Many of them are ‘Vets too, mostly combat arms, and very proficient with the ways of the woods and weapons.
I have been on said feral hog hunt exactly as you described, with the Arkansas Toothpick being the preferred tool.
Then, if its a good one for parsing out, it is strung up, gutted, sliced and diced, the remains put in a gut pile waaay out under a power line, where a shaggy fellow w a scoped rifle will lie in wait for a coyote/bobcat to come poking around, day or night, and drop it with one shot from a couple hundred yards if need be.
Wash rinse repeat….
btw….those feral hogs will eat most anything, especially those scrawny man bun soy boys..
On March 5, 2019 at 9:25 am, Bram said:
“Pendergast loads up a machine gun, with 50-rounds.” I doubt it Ms. MacBride. I’m guessing a classic Thompson or modern sub-machine gun.
Sounds like a great place. And there is little chance of a corporate HR nag like MacBride wandering in now that her article is done.
On March 5, 2019 at 10:33 am, Longbow said:
Freedom is an alien concept to these people.
People like MacBride believe that in the “real world” one must beg permission from Daddy in order to take any action.
Socialism is their religion, Government is their God, and Policemen are their High Priests.
On March 5, 2019 at 1:03 pm, billrla said:
That’s not a man-bun. It’s a man-portable, self-deployable tow-rope.
Living in VT, you never know when you might need to haul your Subaru out of a snow drift.
On March 5, 2019 at 2:34 pm, ExpatNJ said:
“Listen, Ms. MacBride …”
How can you be sure “Ms.” is the proper – or most accurate – English Honorific for the article’s author? It is meant respect to the person so named.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_honorifics
https://grammarist.com/usage/mr-mrs-ms-and-miss/
“Listen, MacBride …”.
There, that’s better. Other guests might substitute far less respectful language, and not without good reason; gasbags like MacBride deserve NO respect.
On March 5, 2019 at 6:31 pm, Pat Hines said:
I checked, in case the author of essay made that up, too.
It’s located in Summerville, South Carolina and states it’s the largest gun shop and range in the greater Charleston area. Too far for me to just visit, plus we have very nice shops and ranges like that up here, in the South Carolina Upcountry. We have a branch of Palmetto State Armory up here, too. Nice store.
South Carolina, my native state, God’s country.