We Are All Southerners Now
BY Herschel Smith
4 years ago
With all due respect to those among my ancestors who fought and even died for the Union, I hereby raise my glass to my long-suffering brethren from the lands below the languid river at the bottom of my state. You have always been on target about states’ rights, individual freedom, and resistance to becoming the minions of people who neither knew nor cared about you in Washington, D.C. You are people of a sort I understand. People after my own heart. I am proud and honored to call you my countrymen. Please accept my genuine, if a little belated, apologies. Let us bury the hatchet for good and ever. Long live our country and the nation of our birth. We are all Southerners now.
Forgive me if I don’t jump up and down with glee over this apology.
I don’t really think you’re a Southerner after all, at least not without proof. Maybe I don’t know you well enough, but here’s the thing for me.
I see Northerners come down to the South looking for more liberty and trying to escape high taxes, and yet they bring the same brand of totalitarianism with them that fouled their own nest. Higher taxes, more government control, huge public works projects, and on and on it goes.
They foul their nest, come our way, think they’re smarter than everyone else, implement the same scorched earth policies, foul our nest, and then where do they go? To the next gullible place that will have them?
So you’re welcome here if you want to be free, and you’ll vote that way. That means no new taxes, no gun control, and no toll roads, among other things. Stay out of our lives and leave us be. If you think you’re smarter than everyone else, a pathology I’ve seen from many Northerners, stay where you are.
On a related note, some people see our slow drawl as an indication of stupidity. You know where that idiotic notion doesn’t hold true? Among the engineering and scientific community.
Because calculus, physics and mechanics don’t care about your accent. You’re either right or wrong. If you don’t believe me, go to an engineering or technical conference and watch and listen. I’ve presented papers at many of them. It’s all about the content, nothing about the presentation or dress. I’ve seen engineering professors make presentations with half a shirt tail hanging out. No one cares. They’re looking at the math.
There is no room for bigotry in engineering and mathematics. That mostly happens among the elitist class who were trained in the humanities.
On November 17, 2020 at 8:11 am, Seamrog said:
Look at where “The Union” got us.
Too late yankees. You’ve screwed yourselves.
On November 17, 2020 at 10:15 am, James said:
I would say excluding accents your average yankee and redneck have a lot in common.
They are folks who just mind their own business/get what needs to be done done/and are usually friendly with strangers.
That said,we both have pretty weird accents.
On November 17, 2020 at 10:45 am, Fred said:
This person has no idea what they are talking about. Appalachia is clannish, he(?) will never truly fit in until his children are proven long after he dies.
One does not simply become a southerner. I say this as somebody who is not native. I will never be fully accepted, well, maybe if this thing goes totally sideways and the fighting starts.
On November 17, 2020 at 12:47 pm, Sisu said:
I find it funny (not “Ha, ha.”) – as a lifelong NYer (the City) I have come to understand that the wrong side won the Civil War and that is because “states’ rights” was The Issue; and BTW Lincoln was not a “great President” – which is why he is Obummer’s “favorite Pres.”
And, as far as who are the worst NYers – the dregs that come from every other state to “prove themselves”. Mummy and Daddy paid big buckets for them to get the “credentials” (indoctrinated) “to become part of the club.” … And, now their progeny and their progeny are returning from whence they came. …
Again, as Pogo said: “We have met the enemy and he is us.”
On November 17, 2020 at 1:54 pm, dad29 said:
a pathology I’ve seen from many Northerners
You ought to see it up-close and personal, like most of us Yankees have to–although I wouldn’t wish it on you.
On November 17, 2020 at 1:54 pm, Jaque said:
My family has lived in Florida since 1917, back when Miami was pronounced Miamah Been thru every hurricane, fished and hunted the glades, lived thru the bay of pigs buildup, a Nike missle base in my neighborhood, the Cuban airlift, the marialitos, the drug wars, the Haitians invasion, and now my retirement. And boy have my old stompin grounds been altered by the invasion from the Cubans, New Yorkers, Venezulans, Haitians and Illegals. But its been the New York Marxists that has the greatest negative impact on my life, for shitting in the nest, proliferance of Homeowners Association Marxists, City commissioners Marxists, Code enforcement Marxists, Gun ban Marxists, fencing and posting of every piece of dirt, and generally being obnoxious assholes. However the demand for homes has made it a good time to sell and get the hell outta here.
But where to go where I can doze up a backyard range without a law preventing its use, Put up a tower for that skyhook I always wanted, and be close enough to civilization for a LEO job for my adult daughter and a good school for my young grandaughter. Of course a good hospital and reasonable property taxes, and no state income taxes. My wants are large, but I think reasonable. Any ideas or does such as place exist anymore ?
On November 18, 2020 at 4:09 am, HadEnuff said:
Tennessee, Jaque.
On November 19, 2020 at 6:55 am, Matt said:
“ I see Northerners come down to the South looking for more liberty and trying to escape high taxes, and yet they bring the same brand of totalitarianism with them that fouled their own nest. Higher taxes, more government control, huge public works projects, and on and on it goes.”
Plenty of born and bread “southern” local yokels doing the same. 20 years ago, i immigrated from the Midwest. I now have property in or near a very small town with cow pastures for neighbors. Small lots, in town are about 1 acre and outside of town, are 10 acres with 100+ acres being common. We along with our neighbors support every “southern” issue you could list from gun control to taxes, but were outnumbered by the local municipality where the leftist liberal Democrats live on their 1/4 acre postage stamp and want to dictate to everyone else. The rural areas just don’t have the population density to out vote them.
On November 19, 2020 at 9:16 am, Bear Claw Chris Lapp said:
Amen brother. Toll roads ha. I read somewhere long ago that Oklahoma has the most toll road distance on a per capita calculation. and I 44 “always” has construction.
On November 19, 2020 at 1:06 pm, scott s. said:
A lot of the trouble in the north was the result of the southerners who moved north after WWII.
On November 20, 2020 at 12:46 pm, Mack said:
Hey Fred, C’mon Man!
Appalachia are the Scots.
To be a true Southerner is to respect the Saltire.