Pizzagate VIII
BY Herschel Smith
8 years ago
Poor, poor James Alefantis of Comet Ping Pong. He’s so misunderstood.
A popular Northwest, D.C. neighborhood pizza joint is trying to figure out how to fight back after what it suspects is a massive coordinated on-line attack suggesting the restaurant is involved in the worst kind of conspiracy.
The pizza shop owner suspects thousands of online bullies have set out to destroy him, maybe simply because he and a friend supported the Clinton campaign.
It’s a story so clearly absurd, it’s hard to imagine anyone would believe it. And yet two women who declined to give their names who were banging on the patio of Comet Ping Pong on Tuesday, looking for the tunnels where Hillary Clinton and her campaign manager were trafficking in children.
“All of this is an underground tunnel that helps take the kids and transport them back and forth so they can can do these rituals,” said one of them. “They are putting a lot of curses and spells over the city. They are kidnapping the children who are missing. They were never missing because D.C. know where they are.”
It’s all a lie. Comet Ping Pong owner James Alefantis said the restaurant does not even have a basement.
Well, that settles it. Case closed. Um … except for one little thing.
Well, we make everything from scratch. Other restaurants, even good restaurants, will, like, not roast their own peppers. You can just buy the roasted peppers in a can. Or you can buy garlic oil. Some products you can get, and they’re consistent and they’re easy. But I didn’t even know that existed actually until they said that. I was like, “What do you mean? There’s another way? You can just buy these things?” Because a lot of restaurants will open a can and put it on. Like our sauce — we harvest a whole crop of organic tomatoes — 10 tons of tomatoes every year. Can them all, store them in the basement, have like a harvest party when it gets loaded in.
I love it when progressives violate the laws of logic. It reminds me that consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds. And perhaps James was right the first time. Perhaps there’s a vast underground network of rooms.
By the way. Who is that doing the demolition – the village people?
Prior:
On December 1, 2016 at 8:45 am, Blake said:
Homoerotic art on the walls in a bathroom and rather weird “entertainment,” and this place is billed as family friendly?
Now where was that bridge that was for sale, again? I’d like to put in an offer.
On December 1, 2016 at 6:22 pm, MARIO V ALBANO said:
Thanks, Captain! I just shared your site on Breitbert. Stay blessed; I hope you keep the floodlights on!
On December 2, 2016 at 12:35 pm, Ned Weatherby said:
“By the way. Who is that doing the demolition – the village people?” I just blew coffee out my nose on the keyboard over that one. Not that this PIzzagate stuff is funny. Just a reminder that some people need killin.