In order to draw as much traffic away from Gawker as I can, I am using the same post title as they did. In order to enable you to read the entire commentary, I’m reposting it here in full so you don’t have to visit their URL unless you want to. From the depths of the sewer that is his mind, Hamilton Nolan gives us this.
We live in scary times: sharia law, foreigners, and rape gangs haunt the streets of this once great nation. Some old people believe that they must arm themselves in order to find peace and safety.
Wrong. Old people. Wrong. Want to find safety? Can you even “find [the] safety” on the handgun you’ve purchased? Probably not very quickly, with your poor eyesight and fingers ravaged by arthritis.
The Wall Street Journal reports that interest in guns among retirees is booming. In just the last five years, more old people are buying guns, training with guns, and cupping their hands over their ears to try to hear whether the instructor at their gun safety course said “Shoot” or “Stop.” In this day and age when you have Obama, ISIS, and Chief Keef, you—an elderly American—are thinking seriously about getting yourself a gun, for protection.
Might as well get yourself a dragon, or a unicorn trained to be your bodyguard. That would help you just as much.
When you’re old you’re slow as hell and decades of muscle erosion have made you weak. Pretty much any healthy young person can beat you up. Is a gun gonna even things out? Nope. In order for that gun to work you have to pull it out and aim it in a moment of crisis. While you’re fumbling to do that, all slow, a young person is just pushing you on the ground. And taking your gun out of your feeble hands.
Leave the guns to the young nuts, oldie.
Smoothly drawing a gun from a holster, aiming it quickly, and firing it accurately despite the kickback require a level of strength and dexterity that you just don’t have. I’ll lay 5-1 odds that any street criminal can kick you in the knee and chuckle as you roll around on the ground, grasping for the gun you dropped, as they rifle through your purse and then steal your gun, too. That gun you bought will end up in a pawn shop before you ever get to blow a hole in one of these disrespectful young menaces. Were you to somehow squeeze off a shot in the course of being attacked it’s as likely as not that you’d shoot yourself in the knee replacement as shoot the bad guy. It’s time to wake up and realize that though your irrational age-induced fear of the outside world may be here to stay, so is your physical inability to defend yourself. And where are you going anyhow that’s so scary? The grocery? Those teens may be delinquents but they probably aren’t a stickup gang. Please return that Beretta to the nice gun dealer before you mistake a stray rap lyric for a death threat and put a bullet in some poor C student cutting class. Yes, yes, Have Gun Will Travel was one of your favorite shows, but you’re no Paladin and there ain’t any bandits on horseback in your subdivision. Stop watching cable news so much. All it does is scare you. Failing to take your medication is the greatest threat you need to worry about now.
Your reflexes are faded as hell so you might as well just learn to get along with people. Who do you think you are, Charles Bronson? More like Charles Osgood. Stop acting crazy.
This is Hamilton Nolan.
Yes, that’s really him. He makes this too easy, yes?
So this commentary is such sewage that it’s difficult to know where to begin, and I won’t offer a complete commentary on his evil antics. Ignore for a moment what a steaming pile of shit Gawker is. Ignore the falsity of this premise on guns and the elderly. Those of us who do gun news searches every day, multiple times per day, know how much guns have helped the elderly and how they need them in an era of increased crime (especially in gang infested areas). Getting into the details of his premise is what he wants you to do. I want you to understand the boy, Hamilton Nolan.
How could such a monster exist, you ask? Well, I am reminded once of a group of Deacons at a church (not mine) whom I overheard at work, and they were having to assist a divorcee woman whose husband left her because he wanted to screw around with a younger woman. Their assistance involved moving furniture because she could no longer afford the home, repair to the home so that it could sell, and all manner of things families do when they are together. They didn’t begrudge it, mind you, but every minute they spent doing this was a minute they couldn’t spend doing the same thing for their families.
They decided that they were going to track down this dude and whip his ass for what he did. There are no longer consequences, they believed, and there had to be some. No-fault divorce was for the piss ant court system. They found fault, and they were going to enforce their punishment. I don’t know what ended up happening. In a way, Hamilton is like that adulterer husband. Honoring your father and mother is one of the ten commandments too. And recall what we’ve discussed regarding the ten commandments – it is called constitutional law, or the moral law. All sorts of case law and other principles come from it. So for example, we are told to “rise before the hoary head” in respect for our elders (Lev 19:32, or “stand up in the presence of the aged”). Boy-Hamilton needs to have someone take him out behind the building and whip his ass. It won’t happen of course, and that goes to show you how morally corrupt America has become. In a morally upright America, Hamilton would get his ass whipped for disrespecting his elders.
The final thing I want to leave you with is just what kind of boy Hamilton is. Hamilton lives in a very dark world, where he sees himself aging (even though apparently at his age he still has acne, he will one day grow old). He doesn’t want to age because he probably believes that when you die, your body cools to ambient temperature and that’s the end. Hamilton probably never had a spanking as a child. His mommy and daddy – if he had one – let him do whatever the hell he wanted to do. He had no boundaries. He needed boundaries. He probably begged for boundaries. But his parents probably listened to the progressives on family health.
The awful public school system taught him to hate everything and everyone, including himself. His hatred is so intense, so sweeping and so ubiquitous that he hates the very predecessors who brought him into being. He hates his elders because he hates who he is and wishes he didn’t exist, even though he wants the monster inside him to keep on living. He wears effete, metrosexual clothing as an act of self deprecation, and his writing consists of venom to be spewed towards anything that gets in the way.
Hamilton is a sad, sad boy. Don’t be like Hamilton.
